Note to Self

Author’s note: Note to Self is inspired by this song on a CD I just got by Ben Rector.

Note to Self: Let go of all the constant guilt. It's suffocating you and for no reason. It’s okay that you didn’t weed the yard this weekend. It’s okay that you didn’t let everyone into your lane. It’s okay that you didn’t text mom today like you meant to or thanked someone for yummy coffee ten seconds later than you wanted to. It’s okay that you hit the snooze and didn’t run this morning. It’s okay that you left your puppy at home for brunch and paid ten cents more than Costco for gas or tossed that food you didn’t cook. You’ll do better next time. On that note...

Note to self: Run more. I know you have a lot of blerches to beat. The weather sucks. Migraines make running really hard. But you secretly love it and you need it to maintain any amount of sanity. Don’t do it because you feel guilty about not having a perfect body. Run more because the gentle rhythm of your shoes on your pavement before the city wakes up is heaven. Run because you deserve it.

Note to self: Be nicer to people, especially Adam and your coworkers. Calm down about the rude drivers who don’t know how to use a turn signal. Give people a break. We’re all overworked and tired. Savor the little things and brush off life’s little annoyances. Always give a courtesy wave and duces to Wrangler drivers, let that person merge, and stop getting so angry about delays. People deserve to be treated well, even when you don't feel like it.

Note to self: Treasure the little things. Never pass up an opportunity to pet your puppy. Savor it when she spends a few more minutes outside playing than you’d like. Sing along to that silly pop song.  Drink your coffee slowly. Kiss your boyfriend when he’s not expecting it. Appreciate the pretty espresso machine you helped build and thank the people that made it happen. Throw the gross duck toy one more time. Shed a tear for that lion family reunion video. Your giant heart makes you wonderful.

Note to self: Stay diligent in the fight for civil rights. People deserve health care, an education, nutrition, a roof, opportunity, and respect. All people. Not just the ones that are connected to you. Not just because they’re your sister or father or friend. They deserve all the rights and chances you take for granted. Always examine your privilege and use it to make space for voices of people who have more to say than you do. Show up. Donate. Vote. And yes, occasionally re-post or publish. It matters, and it counts.

Note to self: Write more. Worry less. Bake more. Snack less. Spend less time worrying if things will go wrong. Play more games. Text your mother. Stop replaying that awkward thing you said weeks ago. Sweep the floor and fold the laundry. Buy that silly desk toy. Don’t buy that extra tomato (you never eat it). Stop denigrating your degree or qualifying it with how long it took. Weed the yard. Teach the puppy about soccer. Play more soccer. Drink more water